Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Tough Love

  Oh, it's been a time lately!  I had a large glass of wine on Monday.  MONDAY!!!! Then finished the bottle with Trevor yesterday.  What am I going to need by Friday?

That one time "not feeling well"/need-a-Mommy-day Sierra had turned out to not be a one time incident.  Last Sunday night she was again crying and saying she did not want to go to school.  She even came up with several 'reasons'.  She bawled all Monday morning but in the end got on the bus and went and had a great day. Tuesday she clung to me, crying, when I was dropped her and Sawyer off at the sitters, but again had a good day.  Wednesday she was up at six crying about not wanting to go to school again!  I managed to calm her and she agreed to go without crying if I drove her.  This week was basically a repeat except she went to school on Monday without a tear.  She just moped that entire evening and was miserable with me!

After weeding through all the excuses and helping out in her class this afternoon I believe I know the root of the problem.   Sierra's main concern now is gym and her gym teacher, a man, and she is not a fan of most men.  The usual flags popped up when she said this but upon speaking with Sierra I discovered her teacher hasn't actually done anything to cause this dislike, it's that he's male.  Sierra is an observer, often standing off to the side of an activity watching for awhile before joining in.  Gym requires the kids to jump in a participate.  The gym teacher said that he noticed this and has been trying to get her to engage and she may be taking exception to this?  I have an actual meeting with him on Friday. 
I sat in on her gym class and I can see her apprehension and knowing her, why.  She has to learn to deal with it, though, because although I know her fears are real to her, they are also unreasonable and if she doesn't learn to cope now than life could be tricky for her.  When she starts to cry and object to school I firmly tell her she has to go and refuse to discuss it over and over.   I literally have to turn off my heart or else it would break.

    After talking with her regular teacher I'm pretty sure there is nothing else specific going on, she's been fine until now.  I think perhaps the novelty of school and the bus has worn off and she's got it into her head that she doesn't want to go and this is the reason she's come up with.  And with me being sick and working more I also believe she is missing me; Sierra seems to have suddenly developed some sort of separation anxiety.  Whatever it is,  it's hard to deal with and I dread the approach of Monday again.
Oh, the realities of being a parent!


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