Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Down

The past bunch of weeks are beating on me and, sadly, the end does not appear to be near.  It started with Sawyer getting sick and has pounded relentlessly since then.  There has been the odd reprieve - like our weekend away and a fun evening randomly plopped in but for the most part the attack is on-going. 

We all got sick over the span of two weeks.  That was fun.  And long.  
Trevor's RA is only in remission because of his meds.  That became apparent within days of reducing one of his med dosages.  
We had to miss out on a fun weekend with friends due to my working and poor scheduling on their part.
  We had a kick-ass blizzard.  Now it's stinking windy again. 
My kids have been awful.
The icing on the cake - my dear sweet Oma has been diagnosed with stomach cancer.

I am weary.  I am in a complete emotional funk.  I have trouble sleeping.
  I wish I could bury my head in some sand and have it all go away.

Cancer is such a horrible affliction.  The tumor is large.  If it hasn't spread she can have surgery where they will remove part of her stomach.  If it has spread......
The CT scan was today and we'll get the results tomorrow.  I'm praying for surgery.  

Yes she is 90, yes she has had a reasonably good life.  But cancer aside Oma is in such good health and so alive.  She still wants to live.  I can't wrap my mind around this.  I am a mess.

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